No. 12 Memo

FROM: The Division of Human Engineering

Happy 2014!
By now you’re wondering if Extension 765 even exists anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you: barely. The entire company was wiped out by the flu starting in December. It all began when Mr/Dr Soderbergh showed up in the office one day blowing his nose and touching everything, and within days we were dropping like outdated satellites. I’ll tell you, they’re making these new diseases better than ever, and when Mr/Dr Soderbergh talked to some people he worked with at the CDC on CONTAGION about how to handle our little pandemic, they told him to burn everything and move offices—which we did! It was quite a pain in the ass, but when we finished last week Mr/Dr Soderbergh gave us all t-shirts that said YOU’LL NEVER COUGH ALONE. So that kind of made it all worthwhile.
Now, on to business (or at least things that are more fun to discuss than fluorescent snot). We’ve got TWO new t-shirts for sale, and TWO new SDR posts, and an update on Singani 63 that you can check out on the booze page. To get a sense of the level of excitement around here, Mr/Dr Soderbergh keeps walking around saying THIS IS OUR YEAR! (although Olestra Bluray insists he’s actually saying THIS IS HOW NEAR, which is a much darker interpretation. She’s under a lot of pressure). Me, I’m just glad to be able to breathe without feeling like there’s a Ford F-150 parked on my chest.


Fabrizia del Dongo
Co-President, Dept. of Impact Attenuation